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  • Writer's pictureSaira Sufi

Shimmy, shimmy cocoa what?

One year later and again, I am comforted by Cold Spoon coffee. Zakaria and I move into our new apartment today. I haven’t lived in an apartment since 2004 and I am sure I will regret agreeing to an apartment on the third floor. Zakaria insisted we pick up some blue hydrangeas to put on Hadi’s gravesite and they were perfect. The cemetery before sunrise required me to keep my

headlights on while talking to Hadi. The tears haven’t hit yet but I know they will and I will remind myself of how much he is loved. As well as how much I am loved. I sat at listed to Shad give a beautiful dua yesterday and I truly felt the warmth of the room. Zakaria sat on my lap, comforting me and I looked out into the sea of people and it hit me, Hadi is quite the influencer. I sat in between my amazing parents and smiled as I realized how grateful I am to be their daughter. How I am like my father and get emotional when trying to verbalize how thankful I am for the support. How I am like my mother when bluntly asking why one would take a cable card. La halwa wala kawata illa billa. I promise to not get busted for dropping a pumpkin from my third floor apartment like I did in college. That being said, I can’t promise to not listen to Country Grammar by Nelly on repeat like I did my freshman year. 😊

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