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  • Saira Sufi

Exhaustion. Fasting, Mother’s Day and grief

Mommy? Yeah, buddy? You are the best. No, kiddo, you are.


That was a conversation Hadi and I had almost daily while at NIH. My first Mother‘s Day without him and I am wondering when the tears will flow. Maybe I am just too exhausted from Ramadan. Last night I was at an iftar/bismillah and I could feel Hadi’s presence during Maghrib and just had to smile at all the kids dressed up and greeting each other. Zakaria definitely takes after me with his stubbornness but he takes after Aamir with wanting to look dapper at all events. He felt the collared shirt and slacks I ironed for him weren’t fancy enough and would have preferred a shalwar kameez.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there and to all those who have checked in on me, thank you. It is good I am fasting but I am pretty sure there will be tears and some ice cream tonight while I look at the beautiful roses from Aamir and the wisteria flowers and roses picked from out back yard by Zakaria. I will also chuckle at how Hadi and Zakaria would have whispered loudly when entering my room to give me my presents.


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