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  • Writer's pictureSaira Sufi

Episode IX

June 7th. Hadi and Zakari’s birthday. I always wanted to make sure my twins were seen as two separate beautiful human beings. I rarely dressed them in matching outfits and I tried to make sure I honored their differences. There were usually two cakes, one chocolate for Zakaria and one vanilla for Hadi. Zakaria asked for vanilla this year in honor of his brother.

Nine years old. I can distinctly remember when I was told Zakaria would have to go to the NICU because they wanted to increase his body temperature. Hadi and I got some quality time and I laugh thinking about how I could barely move after the c-section but was adamant about changing his diaper and the nurse smiling at me when I asked her if I did alright. George Floyd called out for his Mama. I want to hear both of my boys say, “Thank you, Mommy” as they open their gifts. I want to see their ridiculous dances after they have had far too much sugar. Alhumdullilah though, there is no doubt that Hadi is enjoying today and also making sure everyone gets some yummy cake. I think about when I asked him if he wanted another cake for his second transplant and he said he did...mostly so his nurses and doctors could enjoy. I can’t deny that I am particularly thinking of his Black nurses at the moment. I know today will be tough but I also know that I will focus on love, duas and let’s be honest, the Rebellion.

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