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  • Writer's pictureSaira Sufi

Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes…

I am who I am, who I am well, who am I?

Requesting some enlightenment

Could I have been anyone other than me?

Damn, Dave. You still move my soul in a way that's indescribable. The words hit differently than they did back in college. Maybe it's because Boone's isn't involved. Merriweather Post Pavilion with neighbors who have seen me through the loss of Hadi and a tough divorce, along with their three amazing kids on a Saturday night listening to Dave Matthews Band. Such an incredible evening. Of course it was tough not having Zakaria next to me but at least I didn't have to explain all the smells to him.

Yes, I was doing dhikr through the concert. It's dhul hijah after all and I prayed Asr on the Merriweather grounds and it all felt like maybe, just maybe I am finally stepping into my authentic self.

I turn 44 on Thursday. I have spent the past few birthdays raising money for various causes and will do so again this year. What I truly want is to hear Hadi say Happy Birthday, Mommy! You are the best. Soon enough, inshAllah. I also want sour balls and Diet Coke. I want to jam to California Love. I want to be in a waterfall. I want Cadbury. I want to be in a state of gratitude.

Tell me, what do you want?

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