I wanted a thunderstorm but I suppose rain will suffice. I am supposed to be working and putting together the last minute details for an event, the confirmations and namebadges but I am enjoying listening to acoustic music and watching the beautiful birds outside. I can remember five months ago, staring out the window at Children's National and seeing a beautiful sunrise and somewhat allowing myself to accept the knowledge that I no longer would have to label my food or take the glittery shower bag up to communal showers. Aamir is traveling and yes, I need a hug, man, I need a hug...but I am pretty sure our basement construction workers might feel a little awkward if I asked for one. The thing is, I know it is yet another time when Allah (SWT) is telling me to turn to him and nobody else. Five months...I would say five months after Hadi and Zakaria is when I started to finally not feel like I was in a complete fog. Five months after being at NIH, I started to make sure to visit the Tuesday Farmer's Market and pick up some yummy treats from the Cupcakes Lounge woman. I am pretty sure she thought I was a NIH employee. Five months after burying my son, I am fully aware he is still present, maybe not in the physical form of rocking a wiffle ball batt but in the sense of making sure I notice the morning doves, the finches and the cardinals hanging out in our backyard. 1, 2, 3...TEAM WATIENCE. I love ya, buddy...more than you will ever know. Allah (SWT) loves ya more...yeah, he does.